Blogger In Training

This blog might quite possibly be the result of a mid-life crisis masquerading as I-just-turned-40-and-need-a-creative-outlet-for-all-my-thoughts-and-accrued-wisdom.  I suppose how long this whole blogging thing lasts will determine into which category whatever this is falls, eh? But I mean, really. How long could a mid-life crisis possibly last?? Get me Alec Baldwin on the phone…stat!  Anyway, just to get y’all started…

Like I said, I just turned forty.  I know, I know, you’re looking at my photo and thinking how could this be? 40?  She has barely a wrinkle and writes with the effervescence of a woman half her age.  I hear that ALL the time! What can I say?  Fat is a great preservative, and even though life has definitely thrown me more than what I think is a fair share of curve balls, I try to find the humor in almost anything.  If not, it all just seems really, really…really sad.  What else?  Ah yes, I am a runner!  Now, try to pick your collective chins up off the floor.  I can barely believe it myself.  I’ve been running since January 2012 (not consistently like Forrest Gump or anything like that–and cue Jackson Browne’s “Running on Empty”). And in about 65 days I plan on dragging “all of this” 13.1 miles of a half-marathon. Oh yes, you best believe I’ll be blogging about all of that.  The whole running thing has been my main way of trying to turn over a new healthy leaf and finally find the thin within.  Here’s the thing, dammit…there are A LOT of leaves out there to turn and most of them are NOT healthy.  I’ve found lots of  red velvet cake leaves and an assload of red wine leaves in search for the healthy leaves that are scattered about.  Getting to the healthy leaves is like traversing fields of landmines in Cambodia. You’re just about to reach for a healthy leaf to turn and BOOM! An explosion of cocktails and cupcakes!!  I think I’m on to something here with the running thing though, so stay tuned.  I just hope that losing my fat preservative doesn’t leave me looking like used aluminum foil.  That shit has wrinkles for days!!!  The last thing that might be helpful to know about me is I am what you might call, an Infertile-Myrtle.  Yeah, apparently one of the curve balls I’ve been tossed in life is an unexplained broken belly.  Anyone reading this who’s been down this road knows IT SUUUUCKS!  And where the road has led me, and my darling husband, after many pit stops to the fertility clinics along the way, is to adoption.  We are waiting for our match.  To add “patiently” to that statement though would pretty much be a big ol’ fat lie.  Patience is a virtue that eludes me time and time again. Fortunately, the hubby has it in spades!! We’ve been waiting for our match for quite some time and have had some issues along the way, but we try to remain hopeful that our number is going to come up soon!  I’m sure I’ll share more of that later (and cut to you teetering on the edge of your seat!)  So that’s all for today’s lesson, friends.  Let’s recap, shall we?  I’m forty (and maybe having a mid-life crisis), a runner, a thin-seeker,  infertile and an adoptive mom in-waiting, funny and fabulous.  If you didn’t get the funny and fabulous part about me yet, don’t worry. You will. Tens of tens of gay men couldn’t be wrong!  Chat soon.


3 thoughts on “Blogger In Training

  1. Love the new blog! Of course, Dan and I already know you are fabulous and funny! We are also trying to turn over new healthier leaves lately, but today girl scout cookie, birthday cake, and ice cream leaves so kept getting in the way.

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